-Wallet with money, too many cards to list, and a replica of the One Ring
-A pack of tissues
-Alcohol swabs
-Camera
-W-2
-Coupon book
-Matches from Harry Bissett's
-A chocolate/oat bar
-My makeup bag
-A cherub book light
-My key chain lanyard with the women of Batman
-Lortab
-Percocet
-Cimzia info sheet
-iPod and ear buds
-Beaded frog from Carson
-Silver hair clip
-Dark chocolate Hershey's bar
-Three Herhsey's Kisses
-Hand sanitizer (cotton scented)
-Princess Band-Aids
-Peppermint
-Chocolate Skittles
-Hair brush
-Napkins
-Two pens
-Four pencils
-Two spoons
-Chopsticks
-Mythology book
-Black gloves
-Tropical scarf
-Two essays
-Purple Sharpie

The scar tissue on my stomach simultaneously grosses me out and fascinates me. It's a long straight line of rock-hard skin. It's a reminder that physically, I've gone through Hell and made it out alive with this to show for it.

I think it's there to show me that I'm stronger than I think.

Maybe the scars on our proverbial hearts are the same way. They're hard; they're ugly; they're reminders of times we'd rather not remember. But they are and forever will be parts of who we are, who we used to be, and how those two became separate entities. With time, the newest injuries will join their ranks; they won't sting and bring as much pain, but they will remain to remind us of what we've fought our ways through. Sometimes we need other people to help stitch them up so we won't fall apart.

Somehow, though, we'll get through this.

Today in rhetoric, we watched The Merchants of Cool which is basically a documentary on how corporations investigate what's "cool" and try to manufacture it as it rises in popularity for maximum profit. I also happened to pass a mirror soon after this, and I realized... Wow, I've never really been cool.

Sure, back in the day I was pretty on board with The Lion King and Titanic when they were popular, but as far as fashion and music go, I've never exactly fit into any of the cool sectors or whatever. I take what I like from different subcultures and combine them to make some weird little Frankenstein's monster of a social identity. Gaga, pop culture, and feathered headbands from the so-cutting-edge-they-bleed-but-they-bleed-glitter-so-it's-okay kids; showtunes and a Wicked shirt from the theatre geeks; an unhealthy addiction to technology and 4chan macros from the people who consider the Internet a second home; et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Point: I'm not sure if I don't know who I am or if I know myself so well that I just don't care anymore.

I should be doing my Italian work. I'm not, though. Instead, I'm eating a Nutella sandwich (with Disney Princess Honey Grahams) and wondering about the worst things I've ever done to people. So tell me, LJ... How have you been personally victimized by Whitney Wilson?

This is also an anon entry, so spill your guts; get something, anything off your chest if you so desire. It can be a secret; it can be a random pondering; it can be anything. And no, it doesn't have to be about me.

I've been feeling ridiculously lonely lately.

I have started to realize that a few people I once considered really good people and my best friends either a) have changed drastically and I just realized it or b) were always terrible people, but I was too stupid to see it. So there you go.

Like I've said before, I have never really had a "group" of people with which to hang out. It's even worse in college. I have met a few people here and there, but none of them really even know each other. I am literally hungry to meet new people, and in theory, it would be easy at a school with approximately 30, 000 students. It hasn't, though. It isn't like I'm shy, really; I try to strike up conversations, but they just usually wind up going nowhere. I must not be interesting, or maybe I look funny. I don't know.

I think this semester, I will try to go to Jessi's church group on Wednesday nights. She's a really nice person, and I know she tries to surround herself with good people. Hopefully I can meet some of them.

It's officially my second resolution to make at least one new *good* friend each semester. A good friend seems to have the following qualities: S/he has a sense of humor; s/he accepts and cares for you even at your worst times; s/he will listen to your problems; s/he at least tries to make an effort to see you when it's convenient. If you have anything to add to this list, feel free.

I just came to the realization that I tend to surround myself with rather attractive people.

"But Whitney," you may say, "they're your friends. Surely you find them beautiful because they're good people and because they put up with your insanity." Well, it's true that they're beautiful on the inside, but they're also just genuinely good-looking people. It's really cool.

So if you're reading this: You're gorgeous, and I think you should know it. ♥

Ugh. I don't want to go back to school tomorrow.

Le schedule~

MWF
Intro to Advertising: 1:25-2:15
Break: 2:15-3:35
Classical Mythology: 3:35-4:25

TR (AKA almost three hours in the same lecture hall)
Intro to Written Journalism... Or something along those lines: 2:00-3:15
Rhetoric and Pop Culture: 3:30-4:45

That's right. I don't have a class before 1:25. I do, however, have work... If I still have a job, that is. Fingers crossed!

I've had lots of fun these last few days of freedom, especially with Lara and Christian. The three of us had a double feature day with Sherlock Holmes (so fierce) and The Princess and the Frog (still amazing; I wouldn't mind seeing it again). I really love hanging out with the two of them. We all get each other's jokes and stuff. I also saw Fantastic Mr. Fox with the family (which was hilarious) and Avatar a second time with Luke. He was kind of bored with it, but I liked it better the second time around.

Now it's time for sleep... Hopefully.

Aloha, my dears! I haven't updated in forever. :(

Life has been pretty good.

On the health front, I really am getting stronger every day, and I dare say I'm pretty close to normal (for me anyway) as far as that goes. My incision has healed up very nicely. The main thing I have to watch is how much I eat at one time. Dr. Schertzer was just thrilled that I "look so normal" at our check-ups. It was very amusing.

The family and I went to see The Princess and the Frog on the night it came out, and it was AMAZING. To say I was dazzled would be a drastic understatement. I also saw Avatar with Sommer and Catalina. It definitely is a cinematic breakthrough.

Kelly came over last week, and we reunited with Grisel and Tabitha for dinner. The four of us used to be inseparable, but we kind of drifted into different directions. It was a lot of fun to reminisce and stuff, though, and I hope we can get together more often.

After that, I went to a basketball game with my family. Yes. I went to a sporting event and didn't throw myself off the bleachers. The game was actually pretty entertaining. People were knocked to the ground; there was yelling. Some kid came out in a pharaoh hat, a torn T-shirt, and boxers at halftime. Yeah.

Christmas was pretty cool. Mom gave me a gift certificate for a massage, and I'm pretty excited about that because I've never had a professional massage before! I also got two jackets that I absolutely love.

What is your favorite holiday food, F-list? Mine is definitely sweet potato casserole with brown sugar on top. ♥ I hope you all had a great Christmas!

♣The amazing care package that Angie sent me has kept me sane throughout this hospital stay. I've been coloring in the epic coloring books and painting my nails. :3

♣I feel bad because I've gotten to the point in sleep deprivation that I randomly start nodding off. It's especially bad if I'm trying to talk to and/or listen to someone.

♣The preacher has been by to see me twice. Yesterday, I received a visit from Uncle Wayne and Aunt Alene with Kim and her daughter Carson. They brought absolutely fabulous yellow rosettes and baby's breath. Carson picked out an adorable beaded frog that she picked out.

♣I was introduced to clear liquids on Thanksgiving, and they removed the tube from my nose and throat. Yesterday afternoon, I ate a pork chop and egg noodles.

♣This afternoon, I was lazily exposing my abdomen and rubbing it like a lady when there was a knock at the door. I contemplated not covering myself but wound up doing so... I'm very glad I did because my visitor was Scott! Scott's a totally awesome friend of mine; he and I have been buddies since pre-school, so we have an incredible history. He brought me a program from yesterday's UGA/Tech game (he's studying aerospace engineering and pre-law at Tech and works in the suite boxes during games). We discussed school (he's taking classes I can barely even wrap my head around!), dating and his cool new girlfriend, the future, Paula Deen's breasts, money, etc. It was really cool. :)

♣My legs got incredibly swollen. We're talking Aunt Marge swollen. They got to be so bad that moving them hurt. So I propped them up. They're still sore and a bit big but nothing like they were.

♣I am in the most pain today around the incision and everything. :( The pain medicine has to build up in my system before doing its job. ASDFGHJKL!

( Gross stuff )

♣Here is the link to my card post: http://bibsy.livejournal.com/292620.html Let me know if there is anything special you want in yours or anything like that. :)

ILU!

Well, I'm still alive!

( If you like gross things, you'll like this LJ cut. )

Sorry for the somewhat disjointed nature of this entry. I'm still kind of loopy from the anesthesia. ^_^ Anyway, the basic point of this whole post is that everything seems to be going well so far, and I really contribute a lot of it to all your thoughts/prayers/good vibes! Thank you for being amazing, all of you! *hugs*

If you have any questions about anything specific, just ask in the comments. :)

If you would like a card from me this year, please reply here with your address. Comments are screened. ♥

Post an anonymous comment (or several). It (or they) can be absolutely anything in the world: a confession, your opinion of me/my journal, a rant, lyrics to a song, a secret, some random story you make up off the top of your head... Anything!

This is just one of those things I like to do every once in a while in case people on my F-list have something they want to get off their chests. ♥

What did it feel like? Why do you think you felt that way towards that specific person? Do you think it changed you?

Leave a comment (anonymous or signed; it doesn't really matter) telling me about your experiences with falling in love.

A food meme

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.

2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.

3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.

1. Venison
2. Nettle Tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffles
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac
37. Clotted cream
38. Vodka jelly
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu I'd like to not be poisoned.
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV

59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

-have lost the ability to sleep for more than two or three hours at a time.

-basically eliminated all raw fruits and veggies from my diet. Goodbye, salads. :(

-nearly lost my mind a few times.

+/-switched from Remicade to Cimzia. They're basically the same, but Cimzia is a self-administered shot every few weeks instead of an IV every few months. So... I am going to have to get over my needle issues! It's better than having veins blown out, thouggh.

+/-have gotten a lot of my strength back. Overall, my body has been behaving. I had one scare that involved a trip to the emergency room for morphine and fluids, but that's it. Of course, I still have dull pain throughout the day with occasional upswings, a face that's been breaking out thanks to the steroids, and an abdomen which makes sounds like the plumbing in an old castle (therefore earning my digestive system the nickname Windsor), but things are looking up!

+/-developed an addiction to Twitter.

+/-realized I don't really want to live the rest of my life alone. There's still that part of me that is all, "You're not good enough for anyone, and now you have this disease on top of it, so it's never going to happen," but if I do have some sort of other half or soul mate or whatever out there who I will love and who will truly, honestly love me for what I am... Well, I would be simply elated.

+caught up with pretty much all of my schoolwork... And work-work!

+saw Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs with Mom and Luke and laughed out loud more than I have in weeks.

+have spent a lot of quality time with Dad.

+got some stuff to make myself feel pretty, including a couple of dresses that fit, stockings, and Dazzle Lash!

+started getting a very good feeling about this autumn and winter.

+began planning for my favorite holiday (Halloween).

+met a girl whose name is Katara.

+shed my teenagerdom! I feel like a butterfly!

-I'm pretty much moved into my new place. Alisha has been beyond awesome so far; I think I might actually get the legit fun roomie experience this year. I still need to move some furniture into my room and decorate it a bit more, though.

-Christian was brave enough to take me to Statesboro for a few days, and I have to say, I genuinely think that just getting away from Athens really helped me along on the healing path... not to mention the fact that he was super sweet and understanding the whole time. Being able to relax, talk, and make up countless inside jokes with one of the most awesome people you know is truly the greatest medicine in the world. ♥

-My appetite has returned. I've mostly been eating sandwiches; I guess my body is making up for all that lost gluten.

-Out of curiosity, I jumped on Alisha's scale the other night. I'm down to 155. I can't remember the last time I was in the 150-ish range, but I like it. I would absolutely love to get down to the 130s, but I'm not going to push it right now. For the first time in my life, I feel decent about the way I'm shaped; I could use some toning, especially in the gut area, but I really hope that just comes with time.

-Classes start Monday. I'm taking ecology, Italian, Italian culture, and bowling. Oh, and I made an A in literature. :)

-I'm ridiculously excited because Kelsey is now a UGA student. ♥

-And now I really should be heading off to work. I'm being very risque and wearing a tank top! =-O

-I LOVE YOU ALL! ♥

Post an anonymous comment with...

1. One secret.
2. One compliment.
3. One non-compliment.
4. One love note, but it does not have to be for me.
5. Lyrics to a song.
6. How old you are.
7. How long we've been friends.
8. And a hint to who you are.
9. After you do it for me, put it in your LJ and see who does it for you.

Summer school isn't too horrible so far. I understand statistics one day in, and I met a really nice girl named Jessie in there. In literature, we're reading The Odyssey, so that's pretty awesome.

This morning, I fell while getting on the bus. My knee bled a ridiculous amount, but I kind of fixed it.

Um... I've been having to force myself to eat. That's been super fun. :-\

How are you, F-list?